Marriage Guidelines
General Marriage Preparation Curriculum
Those seeking the Sacrament of Holy Matrimony must be registered parishioners who are participating in Mass at least on Sunday (or the Saturday vigil). You will need to bring a copy of your baptismal certificate if you are baptized. You can obtain one by contacting the church of your baptism. You will then need to make an appointment with the pastor to discuss the marriage preparation curriculum.
(the curriculum is adjusted to the needs of the couple)
Fr. Ron Nelson
Prayer to be done Together:
• Sunday Mass (and daily Mass whenever possible)
• Grace before Meals
• Daily Rosary (even if its on the phone and even if it's only one decade)
• Monthly Confession
• Offer one sacrifice/week for future spouse
• Adoration of the Blessed Sacrament (whenever possible)
Marriage Preparation Course (choose from among the options):
• A Joy-filled Marriage course at Father Bernard Youth Center: www.fbyc.info
• Always Faithful course by Northwest Family Services in Portland: http://www.nwfs.org/marriageprep.htm
• Marriage Prep at St. Joseph Parish in Salem (Rolando Moreno)
• Marriage Prep Online: www.catholicmarriagepreponline.com (based in Colorado Springs)
FOCCUS Premarital Inventory
This is an excellent tool which helps a couple to discuss the many different aspects of married life. If you cannot complete the inventory where you are, I can send you the inventory and have it scored. Most of the marriage prep courses offer this as part of their curriculum.
Required Reading:
• Holy Scripture: Gen. 1-3; Mt. 19; Jn. 19; Eph. 5. [Also meditate on all the reading options for the Nuptial Mass, even if you've already made your selections. They comprise a good chunk of Holy Scripture on Marriage]
• Catechism of the Catholic Church, #1601-1666
• West, Christopher. Good News about Sex and Marriage
• Hahn, Scott. First Comes Love: Finding Your Family in the Church and in the Trinity
• Lenahan, Philip. The Catholic Answers Guide to Family Finances or 7 Steps To Becoming Financially Free: A Catholic Guide [please read through it, fill it out]
• Popcack, Gregory. For Better…Forever! A Catholic Guide to Lifelong Marriage
Further reading (if you have time or if you have already read some of the above):
• West, Christopher. Theology of the Body Explained
• Kippley, John. Marriage Is for Keeps (He is the founder of the Couple to Couple League)
• Hahn, Kimberly. Life Giving Love
• Sheen, Fulton. Three to Get Married
• Dubay, Thomas. Happy Are You Poor
• Dubay, Thomas. Prayer Primer
• De Sales, St. Francis. Introduction to the Devout Life
Natural Family Planning (choose one of four options):
• http://www.nwfs.org/nfp/online-course.html This is an online course provided
by Northwest Family Services in Portland. They use the Symptothermo method.
• The Art of Natural Family Planning (manual by the Couple to Couple League).
It is an excellent book, but some find the tone a bit preachy.
• This website is also an option called Taking Charge of Your Fertility:
http://www.tcoyf.com/ This program has been done by a Nurse Practitioner. There is
a book and downloadable software as well. However, she offers NO moral guidance
on the issue of NFP. That is why if one takes this option it is essential to read also the
Catechism and Theology of the Body material (West and Hahn).
• http://www.creightonmodel.com/ and http://www.fertilitycare.org/
(approach to NFP from the Pope Paul VI Institute; a modification/development of the
Billings Method).
Also there is a link to Faith and Family Magazine that doesn’t work, please change
that link to here.
Engaged Encounter Weekend Retreat (optional):
This retreat seems to be very good on establishing and improving good patterns of communication. However, EE is not good on moral questions especially cohabitation and contraception. Some find it very helpful; others find that it helps to reinforce good communication patterns.
Resources for the Preparation of the Wedding Day and Nuptial Mass:
• www.catholicbrides.com
• http://www.farmstreet.org.uk/NuptialMassOrder.htm (a site that provides the options for Scriptural readings for the Wedding)
Other Resources for Married Life:
• Faith & Family Magazine www.faithandfamilymag.com [6 issues/year]
• National Catholic Register (http://www.ncregister.com/) or Our Sunday Visitor (www.osv.com) [weekly newspaper]
• Magnificat (www.magnificat.net) worship aid
• Hildebrand, Alice von. By Love Refined: Letters to a Young Bride
• Zeller, Hurbert van. Holiness for Housewives, and other Working Women
• Gabriel, Steven. Speaking to the Heart: A Father's Guide to Growth in Virtue
• Pierlot, Holly. A Mother's Rule of Life: How to Bring Order to Your Home and Peace to Your Soul
• http://www.popepaulvi.com/ Fertility Institute connected with Creighton Medical Center. It was founded by Dr. Hilgers who is a member of the Pontifical Council for the Family. This Institute was founded for providing cutting edge medical science from a thoroughly Catholic perspective on issues connected to fertility.
• http://www.counselingcatholics.com/ Catholic Counseling Resource
• http://www.catholicity.com/names/ Site for Catholic baby names
• http://www.catholicmodesty.com/ Site promoting the virtue of modesty
• For husbands: http://www.dads.org/; http://www.e5men.org/; http://www.effectivefathers.com/home.htm;
• For wives: http://www.catholicmoms.com/
